Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous? A: anything you want, baby
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat? A: i dunno
What is your biggest flaw?
A: that I have none
3 favorite authors A: V.C. Andrews
What are the hallmarks of success in life? A: A new Ford Taurus
What is your biggest mental fuck-up? A: my double Y chromosome
What is your favorite animal? A: capybara Describe it.
A: the largest rodent on Earth
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? A: years and years Jump her?
A: never have (yet) Dump her?
A: I'm in it for life, baby.
How old were you when you first kissed? A: probably a few minutes... Had sex A: 23 years and counting Smoked Pot? A: 16
Do you use recreational drugs? A: Yes
What?
A: diet pills, nitrous, ketamine
When? A: every weekend
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone? A: Neither
Who worked?
A: I can't seem to hold down a job... Who cooked? A: I don't believe in cooked food. Who cleaned? A: very funny
Do you know how to cook? A: Yes
Do you like to cook? A: No
What are the things you cook best? A: bunnies
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave A: all of them - but I've given them up
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? A: I grew up. as a college student? A: masturbated too much as a working stiff? A: masturbated too much
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be? A: I'd be a coconut - cause they're silly If I were, what would I be? A: you'd be a cucumber.
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do? A: hope they'd get it on and stop torturing me before I had to kill one of them
Do you think there is life after death? A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane? A: Yes
Why?
A: ONce I did way too much acid and thought Dragons were crawling out of my lungs.
Were you ever in the armed forces? A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs? A: Yes
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years? A: Yer mama.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have? A: They remind me of Mom
...all men have? A: They remind me of Dad
...with our society? A: They remind me of my older siblings that used to beat me up.
Which do you prefer: A: Plants
Why?
A: They're much more diverse
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy? A: political favors
The second? A: land
The last?
A: a new suit
Who has been the greatest influence in your life? A: Johnny Rotten
How do people describe you? A: obnoxious twit
How do you describe yourself? A: obnoxious twit
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? A: Yes
Which?
A: Nat'l Geographic
What are your favorite shoes? A: Keds
Additional Comments
A: I wish these forms weren't so long.