Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous? A: unlink'd, fer sher
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat? A: I want to put the whole outside in me.
What is your biggest flaw? A: Weakness for abstract thought.
3 favorite authors A: Haruki Murakami, Harry Crews, and Tanith Lee
What are the hallmarks of success in life? A: Obesity, fast cars, and houses
What is your biggest mental fuck-up? A: Predilection for handicapped girls
What is your favorite animal? A: Puff the Magic Dragonne Describe it. A: Large lizard with droopy stoned eyes
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? A: either less than 2 hours or more than 5 years Jump her? A: ditto Dump her?
A: ditto
How old were you when you first kissed? A: people love babies Had sex
A: I was born with gender Smoked Pot? A: I've never done it, maaaan.
Do you use recreational drugs? A: Yes
What?
A: brain chemicals
When?
A: when the time is ripe
Still? A:
Have you ever been married/lived with someone? A: Married
Who worked?
A: It's all work, innit? Who cooked? A: Miles Davis really cooked. Who cleaned? A: Who?
Do you know how to cook? A: Yes
Do you like to cook? A: Yes
What are the things you cook best? A: Fried chick'n, bouliebaise, boerf burginion, cheezesteak, hatian banana soup
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave A: Toothpaste.
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? A: Quit to be college student. as a college student? A: Quit to be a werkin stiff. as a working stiff? A: Remained the same.
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be? A: A lime. If I were, what would I be? A: A coconut. Or a pommegranite. Or a quince.
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do? A: Animatedly? Like Hungarians?
Do you think there is life after death? A:
On other planets?
A:
Are you psychic?
A:
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane? A:
Why?
A: Because I don't do well on complex binary questions.
Were you ever in the armed forces? A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs? A:
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years? A: Big hairsprayed bangs like a punk rocker or a poodlehead?
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have? A: I've known women with no discernable problems of any kind.
...all men have? A: Penis too small (less than 24 inches is too small).
...with our society? A: Too much value placed on the sanctity of human life.
Which do you prefer: A:
Why?
A:
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy? A: My freedom.
The second?
A: A lime soda.
The last?
A: A pistol.
Who has been the greatest influence in your life? A: My baby boy.
How do people describe you? A: A young Danny Kaye. Or a white Dennis Rodman. (I hate sports.)
How do you describe yourself? A: The best thing since canned fish.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? A: Yes
Which?
A: Graphis
What are your favorite shoes? A: Engineer's Boots
Additional Comments A: "You are not going to pay a lot for this muffler, baby."