Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous? A: Whatever would please you
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat? A: #1 Pretty good. #2 I receive profound pleasure in defication.
What is your biggest flaw? A: I am easily distracted by questionaires when I should be working.
3 favorite authors A: Orwell, Dickens, Camus, in that order.
What are the hallmarks of success in life? A: Deep seeded misanthropy, and/or the ability to smoothly introduce college words/concepts into cocktail party conversations.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up? A: Believing everything I saw on television.
What is your favorite animal? A: marmot Describe it.
A: a big rat-like beasty with a bushy tail.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? A: her ass? - instaneously. Actual kiss - a couple of hours to never. Jump her? A: Variable, once she opens the door?... as soon as humanly possible. Dump her? A: I'd say that when I am the 'dumper' - as opposed to the 'dumpee' - about 2 to 6 mos. (in general.)
How old were you when you first kissed? A: 14 Had sex
A: 17 Smoked Pot?
A: 15
Do you use recreational drugs? A: Yes
What?
A: Rum and cokes specifically.
When? A: I am drinking one right now, specifically..
Still? A: No
Have you ever been married/lived with someone? A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: We both did (in theory.) Who cooked? A: I did (she could burn corn flakes.) Who cleaned? A: We both did (in theory.)
Do you know how to cook? A: Yes
Do you like to cook? A: Yes
What are the things you cook best? A: I am as versatile a cook as I am accomplished; specifically speaking, I make an unbelievable omelette.
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave A: I use both deodorant and conditioner, but not necessarily as they are intended.
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? A: I stole my step-mother's car, and dissappeared with it into the Southwestern United States for three months, accompanied only by a paranoid-schizophrenic named Eldon. as a college student? A: Drank a half gallon of tequilla with my roomate in forty-five minutes. as a working stiff? A: I continue to go to work, I mean, every day.
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be? A: A pomegranate (smooth and inviting on the outside, horribly compicated on the inside, yet generally worth the trouble.) If I were, what would I be? A: I would have to taste you to answer that one of course.
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do? A: "Probably nothing," says mister confidence (unless of course they happened to be naked at the time, and then I would most likely leave.)
Do you think there is life after death? A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane? A: Yes
Why?
A: Eldon forgot his anti-psychotic medication, and refused to get more (it got a little bizarre in Phoenix.)
Were you ever in the armed forces? A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs? A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years? A: me.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have? A: men
...all men have?
A: men
...with our society?
A: Too many goddamned people.
Which do you prefer: A: Plants
Why?
A: Very little yammering.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy? A: A house with a backyard.
The second? A: a shovel.
The last?
A: a whole shitload of mason jars.
Who has been the greatest influence in your life? A: That would a toss-up between my mother and my shrink, both of them have been trying to mind-fuck me for years.
How do people describe you? A: tall, extra-ordinarily talented, arrogant, funny, grumpy.
How do you describe yourself? A: shorter than most ceilings.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? A: Yes
Which?
A: Macworld, New York Times
What are your favorite shoes? A: Sperry canvas deck shoes.
Additional Comments A: Though I don't have a home page presently (I do, ironically, design them for a living,) if you actually respond to my questionaire, I will construct one for you to peruse as quickly as it takes you to respond to this. It is now 4:20 am on Sunday morning, if you respond by 4 pm Monday, that would give me a little less than 36 hours to put something up. If you didn't respond until next Sunday, that would give me a week. If you are willing, I'll promise to make the page interesting enough to be worth your while (no nudes though, sorry.) This all sounds terribly clever to me after thirty-six hours of computer-lab hell, that could be a problem, but I'm sensing you might be game, What have you to lose?
Oh, by the way, I dig your drawings.