How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat? A: I'm always hungry for something; companionship, compassion, argument, or food. Food is just the easist of those to get.
What is your biggest flaw? A: oscillating levels of self-esteem
3 favorite authors A: Kurt Vonnegut, Rudy Rucker, Robert Heinlein. (Ok, so Heinlein was a dirty old man. Sue me.)
What are the hallmarks of success in life? A: Never getting pissed off at anything.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up? A: Wanting everybody to like me.
What is your favorite animal? A: Sea monkey. Describe it.
A: I'm not really sure, but I bet they don't eat or shit much.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? A: If she wants to be kissed, not very long. Is this a trick question? Jump her? A: If she wants to be jumped, not very long. Is this another trick question? Dump her? A: I've never dumped anybody, so I don't know. I've always been the dumpee.
How old were you when you first kissed? A: 17... I was a slow starter. Had sex A: 20. Smoked Pot?
A: 17. It's probably why I didn't get laid until I was 20.
Do you use recreational drugs? A: Yes
What?
A: I plead the 5th.
When?
A: ditto.
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone? A: Married
Who worked?
A: Me, mostly. Who cooked?
A: Me, mostly. Who cleaned?
A: Nobody, mostly. We were pigs.
Do you know how to cook? A: Yes
Do you like to cook? A: Yes
What are the things you cook best? A: Stuff where everything is mixed together, like soups, stews, stir fry, rice pilaf, etc.
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave A: Cologne. It was a gift from my brother when he worked for Calvin Klein. I didn't buy any more when it was gone.
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? A: Drove my car 40 mph over the speed limit everywhere I went. Driving really really drunk and stoned. as a college student? A: Running from a cop when he tried to pull me over for speeding. (I got away.) as a working stiff? A: Telling the people I work for what I really think of them.
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be? A: Sorry, I just can't see myself as anything but an animal. If I were, what would I be? A: A carrot, but I have no justification for that notion.
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do? A: Trust her. If I didn't, she wouldn't be my girlfriend in the first place. (And that's not a bullshit answer.)
Do you think there is life after death? A: Yes
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane? A: No
Why?
A: "Complete" is too extreme. I don't think anybody is completely sane or insane. I am certainly neither. People who are labeled as "completely" insane are probably only a little worse off than average, but MUCH MUCH unhappier about it.
Were you ever in the armed forces? A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs? A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years? A: I apologize in advance, but I must answer truthfully: the computer.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have? A: setting their standards too high when it comes to men. Wanting Mr. Right, settling for Mr. Okay, and hating him for it.
...all men have? A: Not being able to understand a woman's point of view.
...with our society? A: Not being interested or caring about other people's points of view.
Which do you prefer: A: Animals
Why?
A: They interact. Less predictable than a plant.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy? A: A house.
The second?
A: A nice used car.
The last? A: Clothes.
Who has been the greatest influence in your life? A: It would probably be more meaningful to say who hasn't been an influence.
How do people describe you? A: Intelligent, argumentative, funny, unpredictable, loyal, compassionate.
How do you describe yourself? A: Intelligent, argumentative, funny, unpredictable, loyal, compassionate. Not necessarily in that order.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? A: No
Which?
A:
What are your favorite shoes? A: New Balance CT-675's. Anything soft and ugly.
Additional Comments A: I'm not above letting the woman pay for a date. That's a hint.