Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: relevancy?
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I don't feel about food. Fulfillment of an urge.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: I AM my biggest flaw.
3 favorite authors
A: robert mcfarland, robert mcfarland, and robert...
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: bags of empty bottles, soft hands, and knees that don't crack
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: rubbing my buttered belly on the mirror
What is your favorite animal?
A: twelve day old soap-scum. Describe it.
A: well' you know, its uh kind of like that
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: the girls i know don't kiss Jump her?
A: 23 seconds Dump her?
A: just a bit later
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: kissed what? Had sex
A: specify. Smoked Pot?
A: that assumes alot
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: No
What?
A: redundancy
When?
A: three o'five
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married
Who worked?
A: her Who cooked?
A: her Who cleaned?
A: her
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: No
What are the things you cook best?
A: swedish frogs
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: conditionerhemeroidzit creme
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: masteurbated in front of on coming train as a college student?
A: rip off the college as a working stiff?
A: worked the stiffy
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: a fruit or vegetable, duh! If I were, what would I be?
A: long and dull
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: rub my pecker on them both
Do you think there is life after death?
A: No
On other planets?
A: No
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A:
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: Yes
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: turning men into women, cause after all...