How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat? A: I LOVE food. I eat because I love food. I especially love salt. Life without salt would not be worth living.
What is your biggest flaw? A: I think too much.
3 favorite authors A: Hmmmm. I don't have high-brow lit tastes. Elizabeth Peters, Andro Linklater, Dr. Seuss.
What are the hallmarks of success in life? A: Whatever one thinks they are.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up? A: What *isn't*?
What is your favorite animal? A: giant squid Describe it.
A: giant, slimy, and tentacly. like a boy, but bigger.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? A: Hmmm. I don't kiss all that many girls. Boys I'd have to say at least a few weeks. Jump her? A: Haven't jumped a girl yet. I hear they're easy though. Dump her? A: 30 seconds or so.
How old were you when you first kissed? A: Embarrassingly old Had sex
A: Embarrassingly young Smoked Pot? A: Yuck. never.
Do you use recreational drugs? A: No
What?
A: I SAID, I don't use recreational drugs! You hard of hearing or somethin?
When? A: Never!
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone? A: Neither
Who worked?
A: Not Me Who cooked?
A: Not Me Who cleaned?
A: Never Me
Do you know how to cook? A: No
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best? A: Is this some sort of trick question?
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave A: Yes. All of the above.
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? A: uhhh.... as a college student? A: still thinking.... as a working stiff? A: NEVER a working stiff, please.
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be? A: Duh. If I were, what would I be? A: How 'bout a gourd?
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do? A: Flirt with him myself. Why should she have all the fun?
Do you think there is life after death? A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane? A: Yes
Why?
A: Bought the manual.
Were you ever in the armed forces? A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs? A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years? A: That funnel that lets women pee standing up.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have? A: Men.
...all men have?
A: Women. even if they're gay.
...with our society? A: Spelling words phonetically.
Which do you prefer: A: Animals
Why?
A: Animals are generally less likely to up and die on you for no apparent reason.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy? A: More wishes! oh. oops
The second? A: a new computer.
The last?
A: the immortal souls of everyone i know.
Who has been the greatest influence in your life? A: mommy
How do people describe you? A: Golly. Geeks describe me in weird ways. Ways I would never have imagined just a few short years ago. Ways that will eventually be listed on my web page, so you can look at them then.
How do you describe yourself? A: I do my best to avoid that.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? A: Yes
Which?
A: Mademoiselle magazine. I like to keep up with the latest trends, yeah, right. I would get the LA Times if i could.
What are your favorite shoes? A: I haven't met The Shoes yet. Still waiting.
Additional Comments A: Well, I'm not sure how seriously I want to date you. But now that I know myself so well, i'm taking me out for coffee.