How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat? A: feel about food? this is a young frankenstien joke?..."there...i've touched my food!" why?...why is there air?
What is your biggest flaw? A: unable to carry on more than 4 conversations at once
3 favorite authors A: pohl...skakesphere..and the guy who writes the hallmark cards...
What are the hallmarks of success in life? A: in truth?...happiness..love...and one true friend...
What is your biggest mental fuck-up? A: have a twisted sense of revenge...
What is your favorite animal? A: eric Describe it.
A: large, happy, dog from another planet
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? A: about that long...you know right away if you are going to kiss... Jump her? A: same deal...either it's there..or not... Dump her? A: right after she says "you know i'm really happy to introduce you to jesus"
How old were you when you first kissed? A: 12?... Had sex
A: 17... steering wheel be damned! Smoked Pot? A: 18...me the roomies...and the dog!
Do you use recreational drugs? A: No
What?
A: gave it up...
When?
A: just faded off...had enough over the years i guess
Still? A: No
Have you ever been married/lived with someone? A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: mostly me....always on tour... Who cooked? A: definately me... she couldn't boil water... Who cleaned? A: both...
Do you know how to cook? A: Yes
Do you like to cook? A: Yes
What are the things you cook best? A: if i can understand the recipe...that's it tonight...
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave A: n,n,n,y,y,c,n,y...how about you?
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? A: involved cardboard, gasoline, a large amount of tubing, and incredible timing... as a college student? A: removing a entire human being from recorded history... as a working stiff? A: not a working stiff..(work for myself)...but i do have some new ideas...
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be? A: cumquat...not really i just like to say it... If I were, what would I be? A: missing word?...if i were...i guess i'd be past tense
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do? A: have a good time and meet others...if she were my girlfriend..i'd trust her...and if i couldn't...well...then i'd better move on...
Do you think there is life after death? A: Yes
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane? A: Yes
Why?
A: my brother is institutionalized...so i've grown up going to the "farm"...rain man is not what it's like...try "eraserhead"
Were you ever in the armed forces? A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs? A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years? A: remote control tv...no...
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have? A: they ask alot of questions! (hint hint)
...all men have? A: dumb enough to answser them...
...with our society? A: short term goals
Which do you prefer: A: Animals
Why?
A: can't walk a fern...
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy? A: house
The second?
A: health insurance
The last? A: a cute little bluye skirt with a pinched waist, pleats and a slight underprinting of hearts and small balloons...
Who has been the greatest influence in your life? A: chuang tzu
How do people describe you? A: affectionally i hope...
How do you describe yourself? A: hope is the thing with feathers...too bad i'm such a teddy bear...
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? A: Yes
Which?
A: lots...
What are your favorite shoes? A: bruno malli's...kidding...
Additional Comments A: interested in hearing more from the mind that created this test...do you write these for "cosmo" too?