How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat? A: All for it. Esp. peanut butter & jelly. It's the going thing.
What is your biggest flaw? A: I'm a sucker for girls I have to apply for.
3 favorite authors A: L'amour, Faulkner, and the guy who writes Beavis and Butthead. L'Amour, Faulkner, and the dude who writes Beavis & Butthead (Cool!)
What are the hallmarks of success in life? A: Err.. Arent those things places where you go to buy cards and stuff?
What is your biggest mental fuck-up? A: Me? Fuckup? Thou jesteth.
What is your favorite animal? A: My dog, Buck. He died 2 years ago. Describe it. A: Half australian shepherd, half collie.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? A: Err, at least a day or so. Jump her? A: Depends on how drunk I am. Dump her? A: Me? Dump? Never. (OK, about a month.)
How old were you when you first kissed? A: 12. She was 17. Had sex
A: 17. She was 12. (That was a joke.) Smoked Pot? A: You kiddin'? That stuff's bad for you.
Do you use recreational drugs? A: No
What?
A: What?
When?
A: When what?
Still?
A:
Have you ever been married/lived with someone? A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: Us. Who cooked?
A: Us. Who cleaned?
A: Us.
Do you know how to cook? A: Yes
Do you like to cook? A: No
What are the things you cook best? A: Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches & beer. Ramen & beer runs a close 2nd.
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave A: No. Not since I was 6. No. No. Yes. (Frequently.) No. No. No.
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? A: Jumped the car on my motorcycle. as a college student? A: Still there. Used Jim Beam to start a campfire. as a working stiff? A: Heh heh. How'd you know?
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be? A: Cherry kool aid. If I were, what would I be? A: Errr... Collard greens?
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do? A: Grab the nearest babe-type and start to tango.
Do you think there is life after death? A: Yes
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane? A: Yes
Why?
A: Insane? I'm not insane. I'm mad; mad, I tell you. I was insane once. They put me in a nice padded room. I died there. Worms ate me. My tombstone said I was insane. Insane? I'm not insane. I'm mad, mad I tell you.
Were you ever in the armed forces? A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs? A: Yes
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years? A: Beer in a bottle.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have? A: They worry about feelings and crap like that too much.
...all men have? A: Women always want to talk about feelings and relationships, etc.
...with our society? A: Everybody needs to shut up and watch the sun set sometimes.
Which do you prefer: A: Animals
Why?
A: Turnips don't fetch.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy? A: Bass boat.
The second?
A: Jeep.
The last?
A: Case o' Jim Beam.
Who has been the greatest influence in your life? A: My grandfather.
How do people describe you? A: Adorable. Cynical. Wise. Realistic.
Realistic. Wise. Cynical. Adorable.
How do you describe yourself? A: What can I say? I'm a helluva guy!
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? A: Yes
Which?
A: Backpacker. Outside.
What are your favorite shoes? A: My hunting boots.
Additional Comments A: I just blew the hell out of this half hour. It's been amusing!