Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous? A: How about unbuttoned?
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat? A: I don't feel about food. I think about it. I am a very intellectual shark. I eat when I go into a blood frenzy.
What is your biggest flaw? A: Dead-looking eyes. Being a shark and all.
3 favorite authors A: Darwin, Edmund O. Wilson, Stephen Jay Gould
What are the hallmarks of success in life? A: I don't read Hallmark. I go to Afterwords, where they have the alternatice cards.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up? A: Brain the size of a pea
What is your favorite animal? A: Plankton Describe it.
A: Little fishy things. Attract my prey.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? A: I have no lips. How can I kiss? Jump her? A: As soon as I smell blood. Dump her? A: When I am done eating.
How old were you when you first kissed? A: I repeat: I have no lips. Had sex A: 16, like everybody else on the planet Smoked Pot? A: How can you smoke underwater?
Do you use recreational drugs? A: No
What?
A: Only business drugs
When? A: During work hours
Still? A: No
Have you ever been married/lived with someone? A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: All Who cooked?
A: All Who cleaned?
A: Who cleans underwater?
Do you know how to cook? A: Yes
Do you like to cook? A: Yes
What are the things you cook best? A: Stir-fry, burritos, pasta sauces
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave A: Who needs beauty treatments in the ocean?
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? A: Attempted to climb onto dry land as a college student? A: Filled out a web date application as a working stiff? A: I'm actually rather quite flexible
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be? A: A shark If I were, what would I be? A: A girl shark
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do? A: Ask him to join my commune
Do you think there is life after death? A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: Yes
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane? A: Yes
Why?
A: All sharks are insane
Were you ever in the armed forces? A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs? A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years? A: Personal computers
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have? A: They are the only minority that is in the majority
...all men have? A: They too are stuck in their patriarchical power system
...with our society? A: OJ. Nuff said.
Which do you prefer: A: Animals
Why?
A: Sharks don't eat plants.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy? A: A self-propelled fish tank
The second? A: A pet plankton
The last?
A: I'd buy you an ice cream
Who has been the greatest influence in your life? A: Me
How do people describe you? A: Wet, dead-eyed, kinda leathery skin, big teeth
How do you describe yourself? A: A suave. sophisticated shark
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? A: No
Which?
A: Paper melts in water
What are your favorite shoes? A: As with lips, I have no feet